PARTNER IN PASTORAL MINISTRY
By
Rev. T. R. Miller (08037718335; 08141631469)
Pastor, First Baptist Church, Calabar
revrt.miller@yahoo.com; revrandymiller66@gmail.com
Preamble
Spiritual growth does not happen in a vacuum. This makes Spiritual mentorship within the Christian fold and especially in pastoral ministry very essential. The word “mentor” has its origin around 122 BCE in the account of the Odyssey, written by the Greek poet Homer. In this story, Odysseus, or Ulysses as it is translated in the Latin, was in the throes of preparing to fight in the Trojan War. Odysseus realized that his only son, Telemachus, being of a tender age, was not ready to assume the responsibility as king of the kingdom. So he called in a trusted, wise, family friend named Mentor to be his son’s guardian. Not knowing how long he was going to be away from the kingdom, he instructed Mentor to prepare and educate Telemachus in the rudiments of what he would need in order to take on the role as king in case his father did not return from the war. The Mentor’s responsibility was thus to oversee the development of the young Telemachus toward a specific goal; that of learning how to become and behave like a king (Wright, 2004: vii).
It has been customary in every civilization and culture for older family members to teach the younger ones certain skills and trades, values, traditions, and culture of the people to the next generation, while also preparing the young person to be able to make a living for himself and, in time, for a family. Individuals would seek out “wise teachers” or look to family members to teach them intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical, and social truths and skills (Phillips-Jones, 1997:14). In the view of Stoddard and Tamasy, (2009:23), this is what some refer to as the old paradigm or classical mentoring. This “classical” mentoring refers to an inexperienced person going to another of experience to be taught the rudiments of a particular trade, skill, or through observation, inculcating the values of the wise teacher into his or her own thinking, philosophy, life-style, and ultimately, life’s expectations.
The Meaning and Concept of Mentorship
In an attempt to describe what is mentoring, Ruth Hassall (2009:22-23) identified what mentoring is not in the right sense. She observed that it is not being a parent, not a counselor, not a buddy, and not simply a teacher, although by experience, it can incorporate such elements in an informal setting. The word has traditionally been used to describe the process of investing oneself into someone else to enable him or her to realize the fullest potential and thus live with purpose and satisfaction. Spiritual mentoring is largely about modelling a Christian life and being there for the person when questions arise. This does not mean that the teacher is perfect, but that he has more knowledge and experience with the Word of God and is seeking to live a victorious Christian life.
It is in this light that Stanley and Clinton (1992:41) in their book Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to Succeed in Life, described eight types of mentoring relationships that reflect varying degrees of intensity and personal involvement. The eight types are grouped into three categories. The first category consists of the most intensive kinds of mentoring relationships: discipler, spiritual guide, and coach. The second category consists of mentoring relationships that are occasional in nature. They are the counsellor, teacher, and sponsor. These relationships may or may not involve a personal relationship. The final category is described as passive mentoring and consists of impersonal mentoring. The traditional understanding of mentoring has involved a relationship between a younger, less experienced person and an older, more experienced person in which the older wisely guides the younger through some significant transition in life. While this understanding is still influential today, the term mentoring might be used to describe a number of helping relationships (Daloz, Mentor xxii-xxiv).
Stanley and Clinton (1992:33) affirmed that the empowering nature of the “spiritual helping” aspect of the role and function of mentoring is “a relational experience in which one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources.” What is implied here is the sharing of God-given knowledge which is one side, the other side being living and modelling the life upon sound and credible values. However, Elmore (1996:4) captured the idea because of the emphasis placed on the transformation of the life of the protégé via the investing of wisdom and resources from the other mentor. Stanley and Clinton further noted that “mentoring is a relational process between mentor, who knows or has experienced something and transfers that something (resources of wisdom, information, experience, confidence, insight, relationships status, etc.) to a mentee, at an appropriate time and manner, so that it facilitates development or empowerment.
Linda Phillips-Jones (1997:22 ) defined mentors “as skilled people who go out of their way to help you clarify your personal goals and then take steps toward reaching them. They have power—through who and what they know—to promote your welfare.
A mentor is “someone who has been there before to lead a novice through the experiences of life, providing the guidance and expertise to help him or her safely navigate.”
On the practical level, mentoring takes a myriad of forms. The diversity is due in part to the nature of mentoring as described earlier. A relationship as comprehensive, intuitive, and individualized as mentoring cannot be described in narrow terms. As a result, most writers do not even attempt to arrive at a conceptual framework for understanding the mentoring process. Instead, they refer to various roles, functions, and activities as being representative of the kind found in mentoring. There are indeed many types or concepts of mentoring like the character or competence, and William Gray’s model that shows a progressive nature of mentoring,
However, Anderson and Shannon (1988: 38-42) is considered in order to provide a more precise understanding of mentoring. They have proposed a concept of mentoring that consists of three mentor roles (role model, nurturer, and care giver) and five basic mentoring functions (teach, sponsor, encourage, counsel, and befriend). They also suggest a number of activities under each function.
Role Model. Shannon and Anderson speak of modelling as both a mentoring role and activity (under the function of a teacher). This dual nature of modelling reflects the comprehensive nature of the mentoring relationship. An effective mentor will often intentionally model certain skills or behaviors in order to demonstrate them for the protégé or mentee. In a more fundamental sense, however, the mentor is the model as he or she “embodies a way of life by word, action, and presence”.
This role of serving as a model for the protégé or mentee is best demonstrated in the life of
Jesus. When the time came for him to make disciples, he did not convene an isolated classroom for discussions on philosophy or religious doctrines. The classroom was life, and the teacher was “the Truth.” Palmer (1993:47) expounds, Jesus did not say, “I will speak true words to you” or “I will tell you about truth”; he claimed to embody truth in his person. To those who wished to know truth, Jesus did not offer propositions to be tested by logic or data to be tested in the laboratory. He offered himself and his life. Those who sought truth were invited into relationship with him.
Stanley and Clinton (1992:43) speak of the dynamic of attraction in mentoring relationships. For the protégé, the attraction lies in the fact that the mentor embodies certain qualities desired by the protégé. Those qualities may involve such things as the mentor’s character, values, wisdom, skills, influence, or knowledge. Simply by being in the presence of the mentor, the protégé is able to observe those qualities for later reflection. Milleton (1996:65) likens this process to the old practice of apprenticeship, “one person looking over the shoulders of another”.
Nurturer.
Drawing on the metaphor of gardening, Anderson and Shannon define the nurturing role in three ways: (1) cultivating an environment for growth, (2) stimulating growth according to the total personality of the mentee, and (3) believing in the mentee’s potential to reach full maturity. As a nurturer, then, the mentor is responsible for facilitating the full growth and development of the mentee.
- Cultivating an Environment for Growth: This involves what Anderson and Reese (1999:77) call “creating a safe space for discovery”. The mentor In doing this, removes the key impediments to growth by encouraging authenticity and vulnerability. Boundaries, in the form of such things as time limitations and confidentiality, provide security by defining the limits of the relationship. Hospitality involves receiving one another in a spirit of deep acceptance. The description is like the mentor is a guarantor who guarantees a caring and accepting environment; relationship that is trustworthy; feelings, ideas, or questions that are valid; affirmed for growth; opportunities for discovering our gifts and abilities; and considered worthy. Out of this guarantee comes empowerment and the security to know ourselves, to grow, to change, and to share ourselves with others.
- Stimulating Growth: The total personality of the protégé or mentee is considered in that the mentor always considers the uniqueness of the protégé or mentee in the process of guiding to growth and development. Nurturing, then, is more about drawing out the potential that already exists within the protégé than it is about shaping the protégé in the image of the mentor.
- Believing in the Protégé’s Potential for reaching full Maturity. This aspect of the nurturing process is vital to the success of the mentoring relationship—not just that the mentor believes in the protégé but that the mentor’s belief in the protégé keeps him or her focused on the protégé’s potential. The mentor facilitates growth by focusing more on the future possibilities of the protégé.
Care Giver. Mallison’s (1996:83) opines that the quality of “caring” is an important characteristic of an effective mentor. “Affection” as a care giver becomes the “cornerstone of effective mentoring”. Mentors have the greatest impact on their protégés when they exhibit concern for the total well-being of the mentee. From the Christian perspective, total –well being is attending to the personal, professional, and spiritual concerns of the mentee, the mentor helps him or her develop an integrated view of life. In practical terms, this means helping the protégé to see the connections between such things as work, family life, personal character, and his or her relationship with God.
Finally, the role of care giver keeps the mentor focused on the needs of the mentee. Levinson et al. (1978:253) note that one of the great hazards of mentoring is the temptation for the mentor to exploit the mentee by using the relationship for his or her own purposes. Exploitation is not nearly as likely when the mentor truly cares for the protégé and is committed to the protégé’s total well-being.
In summary, then, mentoring roles define the manner in which a mentor relates to a mentee. The mentor serves as a role model by the example of his or her life, as a nurturer by his or her commitment to the growth and development of the protégé, and as a care giver by the affectionate concern shown for the mentee’s personal, professional, and spiritual needs.
The Need for Mentorship and Accountability in Pastoral Ministry
It can be considered that mentoring used to happen under the names of coaching, advising, counselling, helping, or guiding by an exemplar, trainer, sponsor, role model, encourager, or instructor. As the role has taken on more respectability in the business and educational world, it is becoming more widely acceptable as a discipline worthy of consideration, especially within the community of the church. Mallison (1998:10), reminded us that “mentoring has always been part of the fabric of society”. With the emergence of the industrial revolution, the skills and trades which were practiced by parents and craft guilds gave way to employers and employee relationship. Employers’ focus shifted away from maintaining quality and tradition toward increasing their profits. What benefited the master no longer benefited the apprentice.”
As twenty-first century life has become more complex and technology becomes more integral to our lives, we seem to have dispensed with the simple life and adopt more complex forms. This also seems to be what is happening within mentoring practice. Mentoring has evolved from the simple to become more complex and multifaceted and to result in the accompanying physical and emotional, as well as relational baggage. These changes in life are evidenced by the brokenness of relationships, and the isolation that results from brokenness,
The urbanization of towns and villages into cosmopolitan centers contributes to the ease with which we can lose ourselves in a crowd and the consequence is that people get lost and disconnected from other significant individuals. This type of urbanization has produced families with absent father figures in the homes and society at large that has left many male children without a model of ideal manhood. The growing nature of the Church with its different ministries that tries to keep every member busy with one activity or the other.
Swanson (1998:8), noted that mentoring is needed and becomes increasingly popular because of the electronic age and the virtual society in which we live. This virtual society has taken over as a significant vendor of business, so people no longer do business face to face and that loss of the human contact can often mean absence of meaning and make mentoring more necessary. This de-personalization of relational living, in my opinion, is a contributing factor that creates a vacuum within which mentoring fits most naturally and comfortably.
The internet today, presents the world as a global village enabling a connect to each other from different parts of the world. Also, it provides all sorts of information for interaction by individuals. This therefore, open even ministers to possible immoral sites and places with unchristian information. Where Pastors do not possess a critical mind to filter the information at their disposal, such information can become harmful. This also presents a need for mentorship in the Pastoral ministry
Again, the “high tech” society has increased the need for warm relationships to balance our lives. It is hard to keep pace with changes that are taking place in our societies and these changes can leave our values somewhat blurred and struggling to make sense of the changes. Mentoring provides the stability and consistency that orientate us while everything about us is changing. The over bearing errors in the interpretation in God’s word, the modern day gimmicks by some minsters that is appealing on the surface and the inordinate passion for the mundane things of life mistaken as success in ministry and so overwhelming that young ministers need to constantly cross check their observations and experiences with the word of God and with mentors.
Immature Christians can be susceptible to “trickery of men” and “craftiness in deceitful scheming.” In the world, there are many teachings that appear true, only to fall short of God’s Word. Like children, we can be tempted to cling to worldly beliefs as they appeal to our pride. Many voices shout at us through social media. We receive images and videos of people who claim to know the correct way to live. Every worldview under the sun wants to align our thinking with theirs.
There is a sea of ideas where “every wind of doctrine” blows in all directions as we could be “tossed here and there by waves.” So, in a world of constant noise, how are we supposed to focus on the only true voice? When the seas rage and the lightning roars, who can help us hear the voice that’s telling us to walk upon the waters? We are to compare everything we hear against the standard of the Bible. Without correct guidance and comprehension from a spiritual mentor, we can come to incorrect understandings. The mentor ultimately must understand that he shall be accountable of the soul of the young minister God committed unto him for nurturing.
Practical Steps
- Chose one person to mentor.
- Get close to the person. Discuss to know background and some challenges
- Help develop skill in the person as you show concern
- Create as much as possible informal sessions for sharing ideas
- Make as part of your family by affirming and introducing to family members
- Relate with the person as a friend not a boss or tough father.
Conclusion: We are encouraged to pass on this faith to others who will carry on with the right legacy. We cannot continue to blame this generation because we have not taken the rightful place in their lives. If now that we are alive it is this way, how shall it be when we are no more and we failed to pass on, help to develop and grow in the Christian faith. We can start to reshape the tomorrow of our children today.
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